Dear Lovely I Know It's Hard To Be This Strong, I May Be Gone But Not For Long I Swear

Untitled #596

One month ago - 41 views
Untitled #596
Dee had been in her room for hours. She had tried every outfit on and tried styling her hair every which way, but nothing was working. She had wasted tons of make up and her room looked like a bomb had hit it. She flopped down face first onto her soft bedclothes and screamed loudly into them. Dee rolled over and rested her hand on her bare stomach. This was torture. She had no idea what she was doing. She jumped slightly as the door open and looked at Channon.
 
' One of your dresses made its way into my closet.' she said flatly. ' You ok?' She asked, with slightly more concern in her voice. Her friend had clearly picked up on the mass of brightly coloured fabric that currently covered her room, and her current lack of clothes. Dee nodded and ushered her friend out. She needed to make her mind up quickly, Amy would be ready to leave soon. She was subconsciously fiddling with the fabric on the dress and looked down at it. She realised which fees it was and immediately held it up to herself in the mirror.
 
' Perfect.' she breathed, smiling at her reflection. She pulled it on and quickly tousled her hair, and added th necklace and bracelets that went with the dress. She pulled on her favourite old beat up black converses and gave herself the once over. She looked exactly the same as she had done on that day. Faded red hair, same slim waistline, same accessories. Not that she expected Max to remember he'd never paid attention to detail. She walked out of her room and gave her best friends a twirl,
 
' so what do you think?' She asked, biting her bottom lip, and gently tugging at the hem of the dress.
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bored

One month ago - 74 views
bored
First off congratulations to me. I finally got an apprenticeship in Engineering today :D
 
Also boo my ex for trying to talk to me today.
And boo me and James because stuff.
And I'm bored so let's RP
 
@anotheryouthfuldream
@aprilyn
@cuntnugget
@vulture

Eight letters late

Two months ago - 82 views
Eight letters late
Dee woke up with Maxx next to her. She smiled and snuggled closer to him for warmth. It was freezing in her room and the heating wasn't due to come on for another hour. She couldn't help but grin when Maxx wrapped an arm around her and held her close. At last things felt right, except for one thing. Max had been on her mind constantly. She felt dreadful for what she'd done to him and she wanted to make it right. The problem was, you me at six had gone on tour. They wouldn't be back until they had their home show in two weeks. She frowned and sighed, not noticing that Maxx had woken up.
 
" Whatcha thinking about?" he asked, brushing some stray red hairs from her face.
 
" Nothing, it doesn't matter," She said, staring down at the necklace she'd given him. He frowned and pulled her face back up,
 
" You can talk to me you know." He said looking into her eyes. She was thankful when Cody knocked on the door and appeared in the room.
 
" Morning, Maxx you ready to go?" he asked smiling. Maxx nodded and smiled, pulling away from Dee and getting up.
 
" We'll talk about this when I get back." Maxx said.
 
" Why where are you going?" She asked as he began quickly pulling on clothes.
 
" Tour starts today, I told you weeks ago." Dee did remember the conversation and she sighed. She didn't want Maxx to go, but at the same time she did, and that was the worrying part. She got up and pulled an oversized hoody on. She followed the boys out of the room and saw Channon stood pouting.
 
" Do you have to go now?" She whined, folding her arms across her chest, emphasizing her boobs. Cody tried to look at her face, but failed and said,
 
" Sorry, you know I'd stay if this wasn't so important. We'll only be gone a couple of weeks. I promise." She continued pouting and murmured,
 
" Fine, but make it quick." Cody chuckled and hugged and kissed her. Channon hugged him back and before long they were sucking each others faces off. Dee pulled a face at Maxx and held her arms out.
 
" See you soon gorgeous." He said planting a kiss on her cheek.
 
" Keep in touch won't you babe?" she said as their embrace ended and Maxx walked towards the door.
 
" Of course I will. I'll let you know when we get to the venue." He said with a smile and with that they were both gone. Channon looked at Dee,
 
" I suggest we spend the next two weeks watching sad movies and waiting for them to come back." Dee smiled, she figured it would be a good way to take her mind off things. Mainly Max. She grabbed a duvet and waited for Channon to come back from getting ice cream they both sat on the sofa and started watching a movie.
 
About halfway through the doorbell went and Channon jumped up to get it. She squealed at Amy standing there and practically dragged her into the apartment.
 
" Dee! Amy is back!" Amy had been gone for close to a months and both girls were grateful to have their best friend back.
 
" Hello, sorry I didn't say goodbye, I was having a bad day and I needed some space, but I'm back now and I figured I'd surprise Matt at their show next week. And I have a spare ticket if anyone is interested." She said smiling. She knew Channon wouldn't be, the comment was aimed at Dee who shrugged. Amy knew that would turn into a yes soon enough. She smiled and settled down on the couch in between the two girls and felt right at home. Just like old times.
 
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Eight Letters Late

Two months ago - 68 views
Eight Letters Late
Amy showed Danny into the apartment her and Matt were sharing, and made him sit down at the table.
 
" Coffee?" She asked, picking the kettle up and beginning to fill it with water. Danny murmured a thanks and Amy began preparing the mugs. " Danny, what happened?" She asked, looking at the bruises on his face and knuckles.
 
" Why do you care? You have someone new now, I'm old news." He said, frowning. Amy sighed and sat down at the table, opposite him. She gently rested her hand on his and smiled sadly,
 
" Because regardless of what you've done to me... I can't help but care about you." Danny looked at her. He didn't say anything, he just stared at her with those sad eyes. " Lemme clean you up." Amy said, withdrawing her hand from his and standing up. She went to get the first aid box which she knew Matt kept in the walk in cupboard under the stairs. She opened the door and saw it was on the top shelf.
 
" Fab. He always puts it in the one place he knows I can't reach." She murmured to herself. Before she could even attempt to get it down, a hand reached over hers and grabbed the box. She whipped around to see Danny stood holding it out to her.
 
" Thanks." she said quietly, walking out of the cupboard and closing the door. Danny was stood close to her and she felt uncomfortable. Before she could ask him to move, he'd pressed his lips to hers, and at that precise moment Matt walked through the door. Amy pushed Danny away and glared,
 
" What the hell?" She said angrily. Danny's eyes went wide,
 
" I thought-" before he could get another word out, Matt was laying into him. Amy screamed and tried to pull them apart, but Matt wouldn't listen to reason, it was only when Amy accidentally received one of the punches that Matt stopped. He quickly stood up and began apologising. Amy's eyes were streaming but she was determined not to actually cry.
 
" I am done." She managed to get out. " I'm going to stay with my parents. I need to sort my head out, away from all of this. It's ridiculous." she sais shaking her head. " I'm sick of the arguing and fighting. I don't know how long I'll be gone, or if I'll bother coming back at all." She said. " Now both of you get out and leave me to pack." She said, pointing towards the door. She turned on her heels, and walked into the bedroom,
 
" Amy wait I can explain!" Matt said. Amy shook her head and frowned.
 
" Please Matt, just go." she said.
 
" But-"
 
" Are you deaf? I said go. Now leave. I don't want you here!" she said angrily, throwing a cushion at him. She knelt down and began pulling a suitcase from under the bed. The sooner she got away the better, as far as she was concerned. She heard the door close and frowned. At least she would be left alone now. She sniffed and ignored the tears running down her cheeks. She was crying because the punch hurt. Or at least that's what she would tell herself.
 
She left a note on the kitchen table for Matt, and posted her key back through the letterbox once she had locked the door. A taxi was waiting for her and she told the driver the address of her parents house. It was five hours away and at least she'd be left in the quiet to gather her thoughts and get better. She sighed and leaned against the door of the taxi, wishing it hadn't come to this to make everyone stop fighting.
 
Channon stood on one side of the apartment and Cody was sat in a chair on the other side,
 
" So is that it? Are we not even gonna talk about this?"
 
" What's left to say?" Cody's words were cold and Channon frowned. She didn't know what else to say. She'd apologised, she'd begged him not to run off and she'd explained. But Cody didn't seem interested. Channon sighed.
 
" I'll just go then." she said quietly. She turned to leave and frowned.
 
" That's right, run away, like you always do. My God I just don't get it. You say you care and you're never willing to show it when it really counts. You never fight for me ever, and yet when Josh clicks his fingers you cry and practically get on all fours asking him to forgive you. I have tried so hard to live up to what he was to you, what else do you want me to do? Start sleeping around to give you a challenge?" That was it. Channon walked across the room and slapped him across the face. Cody seemed shocked. He put his hand on his hot red cheek and looked at her. She had just slapped him.
 
" Don't you dare!" She said angrily. " If you ever do anything like that, I am gone." She said scowling. " You are all I have left Cody, and believe me when I say I don't want to lose you. You mean everything to me. Everything. I care about you so much but I deserve more than that." it was the first time Channon had ever acknowledged rhat what Josh had done was wrong, and it felt good, " I'm a good person, and I'm going through a rough time. I'm sorry you got dragged into it today. I never wanted that. Not ever. And I'll do my best to keep you out of it in future Cody, but you have to be patient and understanding. That's all i need from you." Channon frowned and sat on the arm of the chair next to him. She moved his hand away from his cheek, and gently rubbed it. " I'm sorry for slapping you too." She murmured. Cody wrappee and arm around her waist and pulled her down from the arm into his lap.
 
" It's ok." he murmured quietly, kissing her cheek. Channon smiled and kissed him properly, holding his face to hers and smiled softly. She pulled away and wrapped her arms around his neck. She rested her chin on his shoulder and murmured quietly,
 
" One more thing Cody, I love you." it felt good to say. No. It felt right. Cody whispered
 
" I love you too." He held her close and kissed her shoulder smiling to himself. He'd won. After two months of battling to keep her, he'd won.
 
Dee led on the sofa with her head in his lap. She smiled and played with his hand, smiling.
 
" I'm so glad it was me you wanted." He said quietly. She nodded and looked into his eyes,
 
" I wouldn't want anyone else." She smiled and reciprocated the kiss he gave her. She snuggled closer to him and murmured,
 
" So you're not mad at me?" She bit her lip and looked up at his soft smiling face,
 
" No. I was at first, but I know it was a difficult situation to be in." Dee nodded and smiled slightly, wondering if she had made the right choice. Maxx seemed so upset until he realised Dee had chosen him. But Max had said he didn't want her to choose him because he didn't trust her anymore, and that had hurt. Dee sighed softly and closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of Maxx stroking her hair. She was kind of glad everything was in the open, it meant they didn't need to sneak around anymore. She felt sleep sowly taking over and she allowed herself to start drifitng off. Surely she'd feel better after a good sleep.
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@anotheryouthfuldream

Eight Letters Late

Two months ago - 62 views
Eight Letters Late
@anotheryouthfuldream
@vulture
 

Amy was sat with Channon. She was still in a lot of pain, but she was recovering quickly. She picked up her coffee and sipped it. It was still a little too hot to drink. Channon shrugged and carried on talking,
 
“ So basically, Cody said she could make her mind up, or he’d tell them both what was going on. I feel bad for Dee, they both seem to treat her like a Princess, and she’s got a tough choice you know? But me and Cody are doing good.”
 
“Cody and I.” Amy corrected, flashing Channon a wink across the table and smirking. Channon rolled her eyes and smiled, drinking some of her coffee,
 
“ So what about you and Matt?” Channon asked looking at Amy. Her face flushed the same colour as her newly dyed pink hair. Amy shrugged and flashed Channon a shy smile,
 
“ We’re ok. Danny has kept away so far, besides the odd text to me.” She shrugged. “ He still seems intent on getting me back though, and it’s not gonna happen. I am done looking after him.” She said shaking her head. “ For once in my life, I’ve got someone who’s looking after me, and it feels really good. I feel like me and Matt are equals, you know?” Channon looked at her friend affectionately and nodded. She knew exactly what that felt like. Dee slumped down in the free chair and groaned. Amy raised an eyebrow and looked at Channon, then back to Dee,
 
“ Everything sorted?” Channon asked. Dee shook her head and ran her hand through her hair.
 
“No. Nowhere near. Max is busy today, and Maxx is off… Somewhere. I can’t get a hold of him, and in all honesty I’m not sure I want to. I don’t want to decide. I love Max, but Maxx doesn’t mind me being me. I don’t know what to do.” Dee let her head flop backwards and rested it against the back of her chair, staring up at the ceiling of the small coffee shop. Channon wriggled her nose and didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t very experienced with relationships. Josh was the only real relationship she’d had. Amy shrugged,
 
“ Make a list of the pro’s and con’s of a relationship with both of them. Whichever one has the most pro’s is probably the one you should be with.” Amy said it like it was the most simple thing in the world and Dee looked at her,
 
“ And what if I think it’s the wrong choice?” She asked biting her lip.
 
“ Then you pray to God that the other one cares enough to forgive you.” Amy said, taking a sip of her coffee. Dee looked at Channon, but she avoided eye contact and chose instead to stare into her coffee. Everything seemed to go almost silent in the small coffee shop until suddenly there was an explosion of noise and the whole of you me at six burst through the door, laughing and joking. Channon looked up and smiled, until she saw a girl on Joshes arm. Her gaze immediately dropped back down to her coffee and she frowned. Dee stood and looked at Max shocked. He walked over and wrapped his arms around her.
 
“ I-I thought you were busy today.” She said, stumbling over her own words.
 
“ We are, but even we need coffee.” He said, planting a small kiss on her cheek. He released her and went on to greet Channon and Amy. Channon didn’t acknowledge him and just stared at her coffee. Amy smiled as Matt carefully gave her a hug and kissed the top of her head. They started up a conversation and Channon ignored all of them. She could feel Joshes eyes bearing into her and looked up.
 
“ Channon.” He said coldly, pulling the skinny attractive blonde closer.
 
“ Josh,” Channon squeaked. She meant to sound braver, but she couldn’t. She frowned and stared back at her coffee. Josh made a noise that sounded like a quiet laugh. Channon finished her coffee and stood up.
 
“ I have somewhere to be sorry.” She said looking at the girls, and the rest of the band members. “ Catch you all later.” She went to turn away, but Max caught her wrist,
“ Let me buy you a coffee.” He said. Channon tried to refuse, but he insisted. “ He’s not gonna beat you.” He mumbled quietly as he passed her to get some coffee’s. Channon faked a smile and sat back down. She crossed her legs, and struck up a conversation with Chris. Dee frowned. Channon could see her mentally making the list in her head, and bit her lip. She would hate to be in her position, thinking she was lucky that Josh was making it so easy for her to fall for Cody more every single day. She smiled at the thought of the lead singer and remembered the previous night. Cody had said he loved her onstage at a gig, and completely embarrassed her. She jumped when her phone started buzzing, she pulled it out of her bra and smiled. Cody. She pressed the green button and said loud enough for Josh to hear,
 
“ Hello baby, how are you doing?” She glanced at Josh who was still staring at her, and smirked.
 
“ Wow, why are you shouting? And baby? Really? I thought we agreed no dumb pet names.” He retorted down the phone. “ We’re on our way down to the coffee shop are you guys still there?” He asked. Channon smiled, forgetting completely about Dee’s predicament, and just wanting to annoy Josh as much as possible,
 
“ Yeah, we are, see you in a few sweetheart.”
 
“ Sweetheart? Seriously, are you ill?” Cody asked, laughing down the phone. “ I’ll see you in a second. I love you.” He said. The phrase made Channon flush red and she smiled,
 
“ I love you too.” She replied not even thinking about the implications. The line went dead and Channon slipped her phone back into her bra, and accepted the coffee from Max. It was at this point she realised her mistake. Max, and Maxx, and Dee. All in one place. She fumbled to grab her phone and managed to spill it on herself. She yelped in pain and jumped up. Josh burst out laughing and Dee and Amy rushed to pull the large sweater off of her to stop the burning. Channon squeaked loudly when she realised she was half naked in a coffee shop. She tried to cover up but failed. Dee looked at her, half amused,
 
“ What was that about?” She asked smiling,
 
“ Dee, Maxx… and Max they’re gonna both be here!” Channon said exasperated. Dee’s eyes went wide.
 
“ What? WHY?” She said. But it was too late. Cody walked in with the rest of the band and everything seemed to go in slow motion. Maxx grabbed Dee and hugged her, kissing her cheek, and Max stood up. Cody saw Channon half naked and raised an eyebrow. He saw Josh with his new girl and frowned, realising what the phone call was about. Suddenly everything seemed to come back into real time. Max flew at Maxx and started shouting. Maxx was shouting back, and the pair had to be separated by Austin and Chris. Cody shook his head,
 
“ I thought you meant it.” Was all he said before he turned around and walked out.
 
“ Wait!” Channon said, grabbing her wet jumper and pulling it back on so she could follow him. She ran out after Cody all the while trying to explain. Amy stood up and shook her head. She was sick of the fighting and arguing.
 
“ When you all grow up and sort this out, call me. Until then, I am not interested.” She said frowning. She said goodbye to Matt, and left without another word. She didn’t want to be in there with all the shouting and confusion. It wasn’t worth it. Especially not when she felt this bad. She stuffed her hands in her pockets and pulled her hoody closer to her body trying to protect herself against the bitter wind that was blowing. She sighed and wished her friends would stop with the arguing and drama. She liked a nice quiet life, and she’d prefer it if they would just settle down again and sort stuff out. Amy was so lost in her own thoughts she didn’t hear the footsteps following her, and she didn’t realise until there was a hand on her shoulder. She turned and her eyes went wide. He looked awful.
 
“ Danny,” she breathed, reaching up and pressing a hand to his face, “ Wh-What happened?” She asked. He shrugged and murmured something. Amy frowned. She couldn’t leave him here like this. Besides, Matt would understand once he saw the state of him. “ Come on,” She murmured, taking his hand gently, “ Let’s get you all cleaned up.”

GUYS LOOK!

Three months ago - 89 views
GUYS LOOK!
MY FUC.KING BOYFRIEND COULD BE TOM'S SON! OK MY CAMERA IS SHITTY QUALITY.... BUT MOTHERFUC.KER IN REAL LIFE JAMES COULD BE LOKI.
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Lol time for a life update :P

4 months ago - 142 views
Lol time for a life update :P
Hey, long time huh?
 
Ok so this was new years Eve, from left to right you have Barnaby (yes I know, how badass is that name?) Mike, Rich, and of course my gorgeous James.
 
We've been together for over seven months now, and he is so perfect. He looked after me so well that night, even though I ruined our new years kiss by crying that I was sticky from throwing pepsi on myself. He's my whole world.
I haven't cut in months,
and he's the reason.
 
I'm going to see set it off in February,
And SWS and PTV in May.
James is going with me.
c:
SIO will be on our nine months c:
So excited.
 
How is everyone? And does anyone wanna RP?
 
@aprilyn
@anotheryouthfuldream
@cuntnugget
@dustingthestars
@high-regard
@imjustjulia
@lost-in-reality
@johnissocoollike
@willow-pippin
@zemmyexistsbitches
@vulture
And my cat scratched my motherfucking face :'(
it hurts like mad
this is from today when it happened.
ouch.

This is James

6 months ago - 130 views
This is James
It was the only picture I could clip :'( it wouldn't let me reblog the one with his recent haircut in :/
 
But yes this is James c:
We've been together for six months on Monday and I genuinely couldn't be happier about it. Like for real.
I couldn't possibly be happier at all.
I love him so much it's unreal.
Words can't even begin to describe how amazing he is and how perfect he makes me feel.
 
We're going to see set it off on our 9 months I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED.
 
So how is everyone?

R.I.P Mitch Lucker

6 months ago - 320 views
R.I.P Mitch Lucker
It's been confirmed
he's dead
omfg,
I just can't.
He died in a motorcycle accident
His family and friends though
and this will be the end of Suicide Silence
I just can't right now.
 

:'(